Our relationship was good for a while. I tried not to abuse the privilege of being able to call him "anytime" although I probably did. I was so happy to be able to hear his voice more often. Suddenly being able to call him as I took a walk or sat outside on my lunch hour was a wonderful gift.
Eventually it was obvious that it bothered him that I could call him anytime yet I couldn't offer him the same luxury.
It was different now. He was single and I was not. We were not on even ground anymore. Understanding the situation was good but it didn't make it any more palatable.
In July 2001 my Father was told he could only expect to live six more months. It was hard to accept even though he was diagnosed with malignant untreatable prostate cancer in June of 1998. He was still playing basketball and traveling for his 4th after retirement career. The only symptom that seemed to bother him was that his leg was swollen. V did not tell me that his Dad was also dying.
It was important that to me that T was able to spend time with my Father before he died. I wanted her to have as many happy memories of him as she could. I couldn't afford plane tickets for the three of us so we made a plan to drive 1000 miles to Chicago. Jack had recently been promoted and couldn't take a week off . My brother and sister that live here made plans to go after school was starting back so I rented a car and T and I took off.
T was not old enough to really understand so it was easier to keep the mood light. We brought lots of music and sang along for most of the ride. Nashville was the half way mark and nine hours in the car was about all she could take in one day.
I found a hotel with an indoor guitar shaped swimming pool. The pool was closed for the night by the time we ordered a pizza so we jumped from bed to bed taking pictures of each other making goofy faces. We had to wait for the pool to open in the morning because we couldn't leave without getting in it.
We arrived late that evening and Dad looked great as usual. He was 68 and never had a gray hair until after he got sick. His wife was a sweet typical mid-america retired elementary school teacher. It was difficult to dislike her, even for my Mother.
My favorite memory was when the four of us went to a festival in their suburb and watched a beatles tribute band. Dad never really cared for the Beatles or rock and roll in general but he danced with T and I anyway. I was impressed by his ability to stay upbeat.
I called V when I had a moment alone. He was distant and didn't seem to want to talk to me. I guessed that he was tired of me telling him the depressing stuff in my life. Had I known that his Father was in hospice at the time maybe I could have given him support for once. Instead I assumed it was all about me as I always did.
The next time I called he didn't answer. I only checked my email once while I was there. I saw that he had not opened the mail I sent before I left home. So I did not call or write again until I was back.
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